I was reflecting today on the journey that I’ve taken. How just 5 years ago I was at the most broken place I’d ever been. I was literally bleeding out (ok maybe figuratively speaking).
A couple of our kiddos were a hot mess.
I hadn’t gotten off of my chair for months.
I was crying all of the time.
I was failing physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I had hit my bottom and realized that I was not living, I was dying.
I determined with purpose and intention that I was not content with the life that I was leading in that moment.
So what changed? How did the transformation take place?
~ I sought Him first. It says “seek Him first and everything else will be added.” So true
~ I stopped putting my hope in outcomes and determined that I was not going to live circumstantially. I could set my goals, place my dreams before God but the outcomes where not up to me.
~ I let go of all the unrealistic expectations I had put on myself and my family (ok I’m still working on that one).
~ I started to dig into my past and deal with the woundings and the areas where I had wounded.
~ I am purposing to live in a giving way. I was selfish (ok truth be told, I definitely still can be at times). If we hold on to our lives, we will lose them. If we give them away, we will gain everything. I’m not talking about an undboundaried life based on my value being in what I do, who I save or what other people do. I am talking about giving and loving out of the overflow of all that I have been given and all of the love that has been poured into me by God and others.
I know that some of you are in that space today. The space of dying with your loved one. The space of feeling as if your life doesn’t matter. It does. It matters to God and it matters to me. And when you can sit in that truth, that you matter, then you can start giving it away. And that will make all the difference my friend.
That will make all the difference.
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